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me: I am not going anywhere this thanksgiving so you can have oli whenever and for however long, but my dad is having his christmas on the saturday before christmas at 2pm and I hope to take oli..?
dale: Well we've already planned to do thanksgiving the weekend after in Lawrence so everyone can go. And you hope to take oli for what like an hour ....not counting drive time of course? You really hurt me on Halloween and I want to work with you, I really do, but it cant be a one way street. I do my best to just let you live your life with out causing trouble for you. But me having to deal with problems that arent mine seems unnecessary. You are trying to screw me over by saying you aren't going to let me claim oliver for taxes when you were told how much I need to so I can start doing better for our son. So its not hurting just me it'll hurt him too. So it comes down to are you going to work with me all the time not just when its convenient. We need to be adults about our situation since it is our own doing. No more since he did this or she did that or he doesnt care so why should I. We are in this as parents to a boy that deserves both of us at our best and we cant do that if we are fighting and bringing other peoples problems into this guiding our choices. We need to do whats right for oliver.
I take care of our son the majority of the time.
You bring all of this up, because I ask for a few hours on a Saturday, on a Saturday that I don't legally have to give you. I don't have to give you anything, as there is no paperwork and you do not provide child support for your son. I give you this time for him. I ask you for permission to take him to my father's Christmas as a nicety, it is me being a grown-up, and co-parenting. Allowing you to take him for an hour on Halloween was also an example of this, as I did not even get an hour of trick or treating in with him, because drive-time was figured into my time and trick or treating ended at 8. and yet I did not complain.
For you to feel you are entitled to claim him on your taxes is a bit wild; considering all of the above. You do not have him 6 months or more out of the year. You do not provide financial support for him. And furthermore to say that finishing college is a benefit to him.. how? I have him mon-fri, I provide for him. And unless you intend to try and take me to court after you graduate and get primary custody, it appears that any financial gain that completing school and getting a job will attain will be a benefit to you and not necessarily to him, because you have a job now and still cannot contribute more than 48 hours of your time to the raising of our child.
And this may all upset you; but ask yourself, what you would do if the roles were reversed?
I don't intend on fighting with you or being angry about this, these are just facts.
I get so frustrated that my mom and brothers have no idea what college means financially. they were talking about a college fund for the grandkids from my grandfather's coin collection. .and jokingly I said I could use it now, since I am in college. . and she responds with how I am not a grandkid of hers and that pell grants pay for everything anyway. Are You Kidding me??? I'm 12, 000 in debt after one year at wichita state. pell grants didn't even pay for everything. and if I was able to work full time, go to school full time, and be a proper mother to my kids then I would but I can't do all that on my own. so I choose to take out loans so I don't have to work so that I can be the one raising my kids and not someone else.
I told her that sure, pells grants paid for everything at Cowley but not wichita state. she responds with "well why don't you stay there where they pay for it all?" well mother because I just graduated from there with my associates...and you can't get a bachelor's degree at a two year school. are you kidding me? how do they not know these basic things?
I am so thankful my dad knows what this education is costing me and willing to help out where he can..because no one else in my family gets it.
the days keep passing and I keep trying to take the dirt and muck out of the water. hoping to make it drinkable, but no luck. I'm still thirsty.
I miss you. we spoke more often a few months ago.... I loved those times, it felt almost like old times.
Dale isn't speaking to me.
Ben texts me all the time. He is convinced he can fight for me, but I feel so done. After everything that happened, and the stress of FOUR kids, I don't think I can go back. not even with counceling, like he's asked for. I have come to the realization that 4 kids is just too much for me. I have a hard enough time giving my own what they need in the way of attention. but he doesn't listen, he says he won't stop fighting. I am so frustrated. I love him, think he and I could be good together, if not for the kids. and that just isn't ever going to happen..kids don't just disappear.